#DearMe

Dear Beautiful Weirdo (aka 16 year old Beth),

I know you’re (we’re, to be technical, but this will work better if I just say “you”) at a place in your life where things suck. You don’t have your siblings around anymore (and haven’t for a while), you’re in this weird place in your life where you’re in high school and you have little to no friends, you’re grounded (and will be for a while yet; we never do get our crap figured out with that), and life seems to suck. But believe me, IT GETS BETTER.

You’re going to go through some bad times. I’m sorry for that. You’re going to have days where you want to die. You’re cutting (which does stop and you won’t have scars!). You’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to drift away from Mom and Dad and eventually realize your drama-llama-ness and go back to them on your knees. You’re going to do a lot of things.

If I, coming at you from the future, could tell you one thing…. it would be to chill out. If I could prevent anything (which I can’t, otherwise I wouldn’t be the you I am today)… it would be you getting too entwined in your friendship with Lacey. You haven’t met her yet. You will next year. She’ll be awesome at first. You’ll feel complete and like you’re getting the sister that isn’t there right now. But things will change with her. You’ll get dragged down with her, you’ll begin to hate yourself and try to change the amazing person you are, and your relationship with her will be your downfall with a lot of different things.

Keep your head up (you’ll hear that from someone much more impactful in your life next year). STOP SKIPPING ORCHESTRA (despite the fact that you hate Tara and want her to suffer in some pretty gruesome ways). Love yourself.

After all the weird crap that will happen, you’ll get your crap together and get back into school. You’ll realize what you want to do (which I won’t tell you, the moment of realization is so great) through your irritation with your College Comp teacher. You’ll transfer and meet the most amazing group of people you could ever hope to meet.

The picture below will be a common occurrence (that’s us on the right by the window). 

YOU WILL BE OKAY.

I love you.

Love,
ME