I went out with one of my best friends tonight. We went for dinner and to see our other friend that we haven’t seen in a long time. As I was taking her back home at the end of the night, we started having a really good conversation. She asked me the question, “Do you think I’m ever going to find someone?” I, of course, said yes. She’s smart, funny, and really pretty and she gives everything she’s got to the people she loves. I, in turn, asked her the same question and got the same answer.
Some days, however, I feel as if love and romance and a family are going to elude me. I’m terrified to death that I’m going to wind up old and alone. I’m 27 years old and still incapable of saying what I truly feel to someone. I’m weak-willed and so easy to step on.
In the course of our conversation I told my friend that in some ways I’m glad I’m not in a relationship right now. Between school and work, there are days I don’t even have time for family and even less for friends. If I were in a relationship I may be shortchanging someone even more than I currently am and I don’t want to do that to anyone.
But it was a lie.
I want a relationship so badly. I want someone to tell my deepest secrets and wishes to and have them love me for the weirdness that exudes from me on a daily basis. I want to wake up in the morning and have a text saying good morning or to go to bed at night and send lovey dovey texts to someone and get them in return. I want to dress up and go out to dinner on the rare night that I don’t have a pile of homework. I want to put on sweats and a t-shirt and go over to his place and work on homework while he plays video games or watches tv. I want someone to distract me from whatever it is I’m doing by playing with my hair or sneaking up on me and kissing me. I want to steal his shirts and sleep with them so I can smell him as I fall asleep. I want to meet his parents and have him meet mine. I want to have to warn him that my parents are kind of dorky and weird. I want to ride in his car and sing along with him to old rock music. I want to have him laugh at me while I sing Hannah Montana or One Direction or something else equally embarrassing. I want to have a song.
I want all of that. And more.
I want to love someone and have them love all my quirks and oddities. I want someone to be better for.
I will have that someone someday. Because if I don’t believe that, then I have nothing.
Bethany Ann Rants 
Despite how you feel now, it will happen. Being in love with the idea of being in love is sometimes more romantic than the actual relationship. Some of my worst relationships were ones that I was in just because I rushed it or didn’t want to be alone. So if it takes a little while, don’t worry, it’s probably because you haven’t met the person you’re really suppose to be with. Maybe Mr.Right is living in MN and waiting to meet you!!
Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year
old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to
her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!
Reblogged this on The Happy Lifeaholic and commented:
This is a post by a friend from my college! I was going to write something encouraging at the bottom, but then I realized that I agreed with the post. Bethany put into words my exact views on what I look for in a romantic relationship…
Waiting is the hard part. But thankfully school hasn’t given me a whole lot of time to think about relationships. I’m currently in a complicated relationship with my books.. It’s a pity they can’t sneak up on me and kiss me sometimes… 😉
p.s. Be sure to check out Bethany’s blog, y’all! ❤
It’s something you can’t set a date or timeline for. It WILL happen, and when you meet that special someone, you WILL know it beyond a doubt. Hang in there….